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Below is my response to my mothers 1st Email.

My objection to Lewis’ argument is in two parts.  First is simply this, God
extended his grace through Jesus Christ only, according to some, to those who
accept his grace. If by an the unlucky accident of geography you have never
heard of God’s grace you can’t accept it and you are going to burn in Hell
forever and ever as a result of you being born in a certain region. 

Now Lewis would object and say, “well they died in ignorance so God will take care of that. “

But what do Lewis’ fellow Christians say?
“The Bible plainly teaches that only those who personally, consciously, and
explicitly confess Jesus Christ as Lord possess eternal life.  All others face
the holy and just wrath of God in hell throughout eternity.”
Gregory Allen Thornberry
Dean of the School of Theology & Missions, School of Theology & Missions Union

“…those in hell have committed the ultimate sin infinite sin, – not simply a
string of finite sins – in rejecting a relationship with the self-giving God.”
Paul Copan
Professor and Pledger Family Chair of Philosophy and Ethics
Palm Beach Atlantic University

This is not grace, not in my humble opinion.  It is cruel and unjust.  And this
is one of the things that as a Christian I simply cannot defend or believe. 
These quotes didn’t come off the Internet; they came from a Bible someone gave
me called The Apologetics Study Bible. 

Second point:
Christians can’t agree on to whom God’s grace is extended to and when.  This is
a minor point but it is one that is inescapable. There is not one Christianity,
there are many and they do not agree with one another.  Think about this I’m in
no danger of losing my salvation, why? Because at one time I accepted Christ,
was baptized by immersion so I can’t possibly fall away. So  long as I pick the
Church that supports that position, no worries.  Other Churches would say no,
you can walk away from God’s grace and be damned.  Grace may be unique, but it
is a fact that its application is not evenly applied.

We can argue these points and never come to an agreement.You will have to at
some point admit that you approach the question from one believes it is true and
I approach the question from a skeptics point of view.  My question for you is
this; which do think God would prefer honest doubt or external conformity?  I
really want to know the answer to that question before I get this question,
“What if you’re wrong?”  I’m an honest doubter and that is the main reason I
left our Church. I didn’t want to continue to lie when I taught or spoke.  I
could sit in Church and pretend I believe (in fact I actually did that for a while ), go through the
motions, say the creeds, offer the prayers, and say all right things and have a
phony external Christianity. 

My mother and I have been having an ongoing conversation about belief in God.  Specifically my lack of belief in God.  I  thought I would share the conversation here.  I am no great scholar by any means.  I have spent a number of years in the church being somewhat active in various programs.  I have taught Sunday School for both adults and children.  After a serious  study of the Bible that took over two years, I decided I  no longer believed what I was taught or what I had been teaching.  This and other things which I will address later led me to a crisis of faith where I left my church.

My mother is concerned about the fact I no longer  accept Jesus as my personal savior.  Since most of our conversation has been via e-mail, I thought I would share it here on this blog.  I invite you to comment and tell me where my reasoning is flawed and where I’m just plain wrong.  My goal in posting this is to better understand my own view of the world by exposing it to a wider audience.   The first post comes from an e-mail that my Mom sent the day after a phone call.  In this call she asked why I wasn’t going to church any longer. I explained some of my reasons, what follows begins a back and forth exchange we had.

In a separate  post I will post my response to her email.  The theme of  “not looking for confirmations of your doubt” is a constant in our conversations.

Just a little more about our conversation yesterday.

A story is told about a British conference held discussing what, if anything, was unique to the Christian faith.  C.S. Lewis wandered into the room and asked what all the rumpus was about.  They relayed their question to them and his reply was, “Oh, that’s easy – grace.”

That’s what its all about.  I’ve struggled many years with the Christian life.  Trying to understand this and that, why God does this and not that, why is this so hard.  In spite of the struggle, I determined I would not give up.  About 5–7 years ago, I began to notice a change in myself–it’s really unexplainable.  I’m pretty sure it was grace working in my life.  I so desperately needed it, but just couldn’t “get” it.  Finally (and again, this is so hard to explain) I was able to understand what God was trying to do in my life.  One of those “scales falling from the eyes” experiences.  I think I finally now understand what it means to be “born again.”  I’m not going to say that I don’t still struggle–however, my struggle is not with God and Christ-it’s with people.

There’s a lot of ungrace in this world, especially in the Christian church.  Most people don’t understand grace and quite frankly don’t think they need it because they’re good and they keep the rules.

Stay on your journey for the truth.  Be careful you don’t look for confirmations for your doubts.  I firmly believe God has a grip on you and will not let you go.